It's been hours since your son was born, maybe one day has passed, but you're still in the hospital, with your baby by your side, and you're not one of those "lucky parents" to whom they have a baby Nenuco (It is said of that baby who eats, sleeps and poops, as if it were a toy doll).
Yours often wake up, start crying and only calm down if you are on the tit or in your arms. You don't want to bother anyone, because you are on a floor where everything is full of women who have just given birth, some resting, and babies who have just been born, many sleeping, so you take him and attend him as soon as possible.
Once you are at home you realize that your baby keeps doing the same thing, asking for arms and tit often, getting worse and worse about being alone in the bassinet. Then the family arrives and tells you that wants to always be in your arms because of you, why the first days you took it a lot and now it turns out he has got used to it. It is true? The fault is ours? And more importantly, should something be done to remedy it?
Do you ask for arms because I take it or I take it because it asks for arms?
No it's not true. As I say, the first few days babies usually show clearly what their most basic needs are, and affection is one of them in most babies. Some need little, because they are calmer and more capable of being alone. Others need a lot, because they wake up more often, they are generally more moved or because they simply feel very insecure outside.
Parents, we do what we can. Of course, if we see that the child, at one o'clock in the morning begins to cry in the hospital, what we are going to do, so that he does not wake anyone, is to attend to him as soon as possible. There is no turning here because, what should we do, not take it?
A child cries because he has no other way of saying he needs something, so our obligation as parents is to assist you to return to provide welfare and tranquility.
It is cruel (I see it that way) that they tell us that because of catching him then, then the children are as they are. Cruel because it is said as pointing with the finger.
Do we turn it around? Well come on ... thanks to the fact that the first few days I took my son, now he often asks me for arms and love. I do not want to imagine how unpleasant it would be, that I would not want to hug or kiss, if I had not caught him.
But it's not true
But I repeat, it is not true. One thing is not a consequence of the other. In the hospital we took them because the baby needed him and at home we continue to do it because he still needs it. So until they have a few months or years and stop needing to be caught without getting used to the absence of our arms. Look that I've noticed a lot and I've looked for them, but I haven't seen no father hugged his son while he crawls.
Affection and affection is a basic need
One of my usual complaints is that when talking about babies, when they explain the possible reasons for crying a baby, it is often said that they may be hungry, sleepy, cold, hot or dirty diaper, and that if it is not None of this, nothing happens.
But loneliness is a bad. Feeling alone is not good for children. In fact, we are a kind, human, social (see how many friends you have on Facebook, which is a "social network"), which is better accompanied than alone, normally and by removing some exceptions. Well, a child comes to the world to adapt and learn from their environment, especially from their caregivers, their parents. It would be absurd for children to be better alone, looking at the ceiling, than accompanied in the arms of their parents, seeing everything around them.
Absurd because they would not learn anything, would not adapt well and would have relational problems with their parents. As they are the ones who must give them security and affection, so that they are not in any danger in the years that they must be with them, the babies have to be the longer with their parents the better. I mean, that Not only is it normal for them to ask for arms, but it is desirable.
So you don't have to do anything. You should not get used to being alone because, in total, there is no benefit in making a person lonely. The ideal, in fact, is to be sociable and know how to accept the company of others, see in them the positive things that everyone has and have the predisposition to learn from others or to teach others. Come on, that for a child to become an adult capable of living in society, the logical thing is that we do not force him, crying, to be alone, but quite the opposite, allow him to be with us.
And if one of those Nenuco children has touched you, remedy: take him a lot, even if he doesn't ask you, take him in his arms and take advantage of the fact that you live vertically so that he stops living horizontally, looking all day at the ceiling and lamps, the sky and clouds, how beautiful they are for a while, but that of "being all day in the clouds "or" looking at the shrews "are not notable characteristics of any person.
