We live in a time when we can see parents participate more actively and openly in the care and upbringing of their children. Gone are those outdated stereotypes that pointed out that the mother was the only one in charge and responsible, and today we see how to work as a team.
However, sometimes moms continue to act as if it were only our responsibility and do a bit of side to parents, and without realizing it, this can affect negatively. A recent study found that the opinion of the mother about the role of dad during the first days of parenting with the baby influences his style of parenting in the future.
Dad's participation in parenting
It is proven that dad's participation in childcare has many benefits: babies sleep better when both parents are involved in parenting and can also learn faster.
Some time ago we shared the results of a survey in which men were asked different questions about their role as parents and one of them included their feeling about the upbringing they shared with their partners.
Of the total number of parents who participated, 40% of them said they would like to participate more in raising their children, but feel that their partner interferes with their participation, while 43% thought that their partner exercised too much parenting control.
Which reflects that many of them, they felt like a secondary character or felt that they were excluded from actively participating with their children, which goes a little hand in hand with the results of the study that I will share below.
How the mother's opinion influences parenting
Published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies, the study analyzed the influence of the mother's opinions about the early days as the father of her partner, in the future way of raising their children.
They found that the way in which mothers react about the father's first interactions with the baby could negatively affect the quality of parenting they give their children in the future.
Through surveys of parents when their babies were three and nine months old, they were asked how open or closed they felt the access that mothers gave them when it came to their participation in the care of their children.
Afterwards, the researchers measured the quality of parenting by watching them interact with their children for a few minutes, when the babies were three months old and again at nine months. The parents' response was measured based on how they responded to the gestures and expressions of the children, how much they got involved with them and how much they smiled and spoke in an affective tone.
It was found that parents who did not play a good role or had an upbringing that was not the closest or best quality at nine months of their baby's life, they had felt criticized by their partner about their ability to foster six months before.
This type of behavior in which mothers limited the participation of fathers with their children called it "maternal gatekeeping", which could be translated as "access control" by the mothers.
In a press release issued by the University of Ohio, Lauren Altenburger, author of the study and PhD student in human sciences at that university, states the following:
"Mothers' behavior can shape how parents interact with their children. Mothers may not be aware of how their criticism of them could negatively influence parenting"he says.
Meanwhile, Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, another of the authors of the study and a professor at the same university, says that the results of the study reflect that in our society, Mothers still have the greatest power and influence when it comes to educating their children: "Many parents may be more vulnerable to criticism than mothers, because there is still very little support for parents to be active."
The researchers conclude and recommend that both parents need to support each other during the first months of raising their children, and that the transition to parenthood is a challenging time for both of them because they are still defining their identities as parents.
Remember that nobody is born knowing how to be a father or mother, so It is best to team up, support each other and not criticize, but encourage improvement when it comes to parenting and childcare.
Photos | iStock
Via | Sciencedaily
In Babies and more | Modern dads: this is how men feel about fatherhood today
