We live in a time when, according to a survey we shared a long time ago, it is heavier or harder to have children. Either because of the style or pace of life, because of the fact that now in many families both parents work or because there are more and more activities in general for children and parents. But also, I think we live in a time when it is very beneficial for mothers.
Today, issues that were previously considered taboo, can be discussed more freely, and although there is still some stigma in some, support is more visible every day. Therefore, and on the occasion of World Mental Health Day, I want to share some tips based on my personal experience, as a mother who fights anxiety and depression.
It is not easy to admit publicly that you have a mental illness, but I have it. Actually, I have two: anxiety and depression. Both have accompanied me since adolescence, but until just a few years ago I was really aware of it. Like most people, I thought they weren't a big deal and tried not to give them any importance. "I'm just insecure"I thought.
At first you ignore the symptoms and even go into a kind of denial: how am I going to have a mental disorder? I have never felt that I missed anything in life, however, I was not completely happy. The problem with the difficulty of accepting to suffer something like this is that "crazy" prejudice with which they usually associate.
In Babies and more, you can do a lot for her: how to help a mother with depression I will not extend much talking about those early years because what I want to share today, in addition to my experience, is a little help to those who are going through the same. If I can help a person, it would have been worth encouraging me to talk about this so openly.
Although they were always there somehow accompanying me, the situation got worse when I became a mother, or rather, my friends anxiety and depression began to take more ground. Until the day came, when my daughter was just three years old, I began to have suicidal thoughts.
I had never understood how it was possible for someone to think that suicide was the only option, until it happened to me. To me, who had health, youth, family, couple, a tender daughter, my dream job and good friends. But it happens, because This type of disease does not discriminate against anyone and could happen to anyone. And that makes it harder to accept that you have anxiety and depression.
In Babies and more The sincere photos of a mother that show the reality of her fight against postpartum depressionMy fault as a mom was very big, well I couldn't understand why I felt this way if I had a little girl who depended on me and was happy every day. Fortunately, my story did not have a tragic end as has happened with other mothers. Writing both postpartum depression and other health issues in general, helped me identify the symptoms and recognize that I needed help.
I know that as mothers sometimes we leave for the last place on our priority list, but mom, never forget about you. There is a phrase that says: "The most important thing is that parents are well, so they can raise well. Upside down does not work", and how right he is.
Tips to fight anxiety and depression
Maternating is difficult, but doing so when you also have a mental disorder makes everything a real challenge. Fortunately, There are some things you can do to fight anxiety and depression when you're a mom, so I share some tips that have worked for me.
Seek professional help
This is the first and most important thing you should do. It is not bad or embarrassing to recognize that you need professional help, even, I think it is brave to accept that you cannot do things for yourself. Find a psychologist and go to therapy, but keep in mind that things will not improve by magic and although it is something that helps you, it will not depend only on going to therapy.
In Babies and more Taking care of our mental health: how therapy helped me to be a better motherDepending on your particular case, therapy may be the only thing you will need, but if it is not enough, your psychologist will recommend you to attend a psychiatrist to complement the therapy. Although this has not been my case, I know people who have needed medication and it has helped them a lot. If so, do not feel ashamed to need antidepressants or anxiolytics, what you are doing is an act of self-esteem.
Do exercise
There is a phrase in the movie Legally Blonde (A very legal blonde in Spain, Legally blonde in Mexico) which is very famous: "Exercise releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy"It may seem somewhat superficial, but it has a lot of truth and fact, Exercise is something that helps a lot to those who suffer from anxiety and depression.
Even other mother friends who also suffer from these disorders, say that exercise is one of the activities that keeps them healthy and with these diseases at bay. Some of them run and others dance, the important thing is that you find one that suits your lifestyle and helps you feel better.
Meditate or do yoga
What do we do in difficult or stressful times? Breathe deeply. Learning to control breathing is something that helps us find calm again and think clearly when our brain is overwhelmed. In yoga and meditation, you can learn exercises to control your breathing and help reduce anxiety and depression.
Listen to relaxing music
Another thing that can help you calm down is listening to relaxing music. For everyone it works differently, but especially Healing music is usually very helpful or for yoga (You can find various playlists on YouTube or Spotify).
If that doesn't work for you, you can listen to a song called "Weightless"by Marconi Union, which according to a study conducted in 2017, It helps reduce anxiety levels by up to 65% and is considered the most relaxing song ever composed. I have tried it and it works, because it was even created precisely with the aim of helping to reduce anxiety.
Surround yourself with positive affirmations
When you suffer from anxiety or depression, it is like having an internal critic whose voice resonates in our head, filling us with negative or pessimistic thoughts. Counter this filling you with positive affirmations: Hang a picture with a phrase that motivates you, write something positive on the mirror to read each morning, place a nice phrase on the screen of your mobile that makes you smile and remember how beautiful life is.
Eliminate toxic people
By this I mean not only those who harm you in an obvious or visible way, but to those that somehow affect your mood. Sometimes, no matter how much we want to continue with some friendships, they do more harm than good.
Identify how you feel after seeing or talking to someone in particular: happy or discouraged? You will get the answer yourself and you can make a decision. In my case, sometimes I felt drained after living with certain friends, as if all the energy I had had been stolen from me. If you can't stop living with these people, try to limit how often you look at them.
Find something that makes you laugh
They say that laughter is the means to combat many evils, and although it is not the only thing you need to get out of a depressed or anxious state, it is something that can help you a lot. Watching a funny series or movie that makes you laugh will help you be more focused on the present moment, instead of your thoughts drifting away.
Thanks
I know it sounds like one of the phrases people say when they try to help someone who has depression, "look how lucky you are"And while it does not always work, I have seen that it is useful when depression and anxiety just begin to invade you. Making a list of everything we have and thanking, is a beautiful way to feel that your soul is repaired.
Learn to live with them
In some cases, depression or anxiety can be limited to something of an occasion and never come back. But in most people, it is something that once happens, can happen again in the future. It sounds hard, but you need to learn to live with them, not by way of resignation, but to understand and understand that they are part of your life, accept them and find the best way to deal with them.
Create an emergency plan
Part of accepting and learning to live with anxiety or depression, is the prepare to know how to act in case of a relapse. Although not followed, I had a couple of anxiety and panic crises after having gone through my episode of deep depression.
Something that helps a lot in these cases is have an action or emergency plan to carry out in case of a possible crisis. In my case, I have a writing that I wrote to read in these types of situations and that I always have available in my email account and the application of my mobile notes.
In Babies and more, seven phrases that you should not say to a mother with depression (and other phrases that you do) In it I include some phrases and statements to refocus ("What you feel during a period of anxiety is not the truth", "Your reality is that you are a loved person and you should enjoy that"), as well as little shortcuts like the ones I share here to remember and actLike listening to the song I was commenting on, watching a funny movie, talking to a friend who understands me, and so on.
Each person lives this type of mental illness differently, but I hope that these tips as a mother who fights depression and anxiety They may be useful to those who are going through something like that. Don't give up and whenever you need it, ask for help. Remember that you are not alone and suffering from such problems does not make you a bad mother.
Photos | iStock
