Spread a text online that I have already reached on several occasions via mail, with good intentions but a little treatable, which offers parents ten tips to get your child to end up being a criminal.
After reading it several times, I have decided to talk about it in Babies and more to see what you think about it and above all to give my version of said decalogue. It’s not that I think mine is better, it’s just that I think some points can be nuanced and I think that for giving ten tips, they have left one Which is the most important of all.
1. Give everything you ask since childhood
The first tip is "Give everything you ask since childhood"And adds" in this way he will become more convinced that the whole world owes everything ".
Well, let's start from the basis that it is normally impossible to give a child everything he asks, basically because there are things that can be dangerous (“mom, name suchillo filao”) and because few parents usually have enough money to buy everything what comes out in the television commercials. By this I mean that 99.99% of parents surely don't give their children everything they ask for.
Then, from the absurd percentage that remains of people who give their children everything they ask for, parents of children who ask for few things should also be discounted. I can enter a toy store and leave empty-handed without too much trouble because my children have more fun playing there for a while than taking something.
This does not mean that they never ask for anything, because sometimes they do, but the norm is that they ask for very few things, so few, that sometimes it is we parents who appear at home with a toy that makes us excited to give away (without that is birthday, holy or Christmas).
Following the premise "if you give him everything he asks he will be a criminal", I must be raising two mafia bosses, because I not only give them what they ask for, but I also give them what they don't ask for.
Well, the reality is not this, as I said in the first paragraph, I don't leave the sharp knives, obviously, and many things that they ask or want to do when it is not time, because they do not do them and they are explained why they cannot do them.
2. If you say silly, laugh at them
The second piece of advice is to laugh at the graces of the children, those that are not usually funny: “If you say silly, laugh at them: that's how you'll think it's very funny”.
This advice is not bad, but I would go deeper into it: If your child insults, spits, bites or sticks with another child, do not pay too much attention, they are children's things.
Nonsense or silly we all say. In fact, children learn them from adults. The first thing we have to do is avoid saying them in front of them and, if we do and they replicate them, explain what they mean and why they can be hurtful, without making a drama of it, that we are to blame, fuck (sorry).
No need to laugh thanks, but if they have learned from us, we can not ride in anger, because we would be contradictory. If we don't want them to say mocked, let's not say them and, if we do, it is to be honest to tell them that we were wrong (if we really feel it, of course).
3. Do not give him any kind of spiritual formation
The third council says that we should not give our son any kind of spiritual formation, because that way, when he is older, he will choose for himself.
The truth is that I do not understand this advice very much, because I do not see what relationship spiritual formation or lack of it can have with becoming a criminal. There are criminals in politics and in religion, in wealth and in poverty, in health and in illness (this seems like a wedding, but it is not), regardless of whether they have been baptized, have made communion or They have joined you to know what religion.
Focusing on Christianity, which is a prevailing religion, if a person takes the word of God (the Old Testament), written by men chosen by the Holy Spirit to collect God's commands, you can quickly see that it could be dangerous to read such whole work. To put a couple of paragraphs among many:
If two men are beating each other, and the woman of one of them approaches to defend her husband, and grabs the other by their genital parts, you will order without any compassion that the woman's hand be cut off.
If someone has a disobedient and rebellious son who ignores what his parents say, and does not even obey when they punish him, his parents will take him to the court of the elders of the city, and they will say: 'Our son is disobedient and rebellious; He doesn't obey us at all, he's a pervert and a drunk. ' Then all the men of the city will kill him with stones. Thus you will end the evil that is in the midst of your people and, knowing that, the Israelites will feel fear.
Yes, I know that being a Christian today is a bit different from following the word of God, but hey ... seeing what God said, I almost prefer to continue educating my children without any spirituality. I'd rather not believe in any particular religion and That they are good people, not because someone looks at you from above to punish you in the hereafter, but because they believe they have to behave well with the rest of mortals.
4. Never say "this is not right"
The fourth advice is just as unreal as the first because it is almost impossible for a parent not to tell a child that something is wrong. Say what let's never say "this is not right", because you could create guilt complexes, and later, when, for example, you are arrested for having stolen a car, you will be convinced that society is chasing you.
I guess they mean teaching children what is right and what is wrong. If so, it is good advice. Parents should be there to educate our children, allowing them to grow, explore their autonomy and have freedom of thought and action, provided that freedom does not violate the freedom of other people and provided they do with others what they They would like it to be done with them.
Parents who never explain to their children what is right and what may be wrong because it can hurt, annoy or harm others (are there really parents like that?), Do the children a disservice, because society is governed by a series of basic rules that must be respected. It is not necessary that we become judges, in plan “this good”, “this bad”, “this good”, “this bad”, but we can be there to simply explain what consequences some acts can have. There will even be times when it is more educational to allow our child to err so that he himself sees the consequence and an apprenticeship takes place (“from the mistakes one learns”).
5. Pick up everything you throw on the ground
The fifth council says that we must collect everything that throws the ground, so that they think that the world is at their service.
The truth is that order at home is important, basically not to trip over things, to avoid breaking them, for hygiene and because when everything is tidy, it is easier to find things.
In my house, parents tend to collect everything, and so far we are not doing so badly, because many times they themselves, when they see us pick up, they do it too ("set an example", this phenomenon is called). If it doesn't happen, nothing happens either.
Seeing that adults give importance to order It is a seed that can be sown at any time: For a while now, I usually describe what I see “guys, I see a lot of toys thrown in the dining room, we could step on them and break them unintentionally” and they seem to understand it, because they keep them or separate them (something is something).
Picking up is usually not very fun, so it is better to involve it with play, songs and motivation (we can trip, we can break them, we will not find it, etc.) than say “to collect or take away your toys”, with what we will do act of picking up something even more hateful.
I know that I leave you in the best part of the story, but I don't want this post to take you a lot of reading time, I'm sure you have other things to do. Tomorrow we comment on the other half of the decalogue.
