We said it a while ago in Babies and more: the words also hurt, the screams also hurt and therefore there are anti-violence campaigns like this one in which you see a child crying and suffering because the words of an adult, in principle his father, drown him.
Hitting children is the best known way to treat them badly, to educate them with the use of force and to teach them based on painful attention. Screaming and hurtful words are mistreating too and they are because, in the absence of physical harm, the psychological damage exists.
The degree of damage infringed, of course, is variable. It is not the same as a father shouting at a time of maximum frustration (I have done it myself because there are times when you do not find another way to channel anger) than another who shouts almost continuously and a concrete humiliation is not the same one day determined because that day you did not know how to do better than a child who receives humiliations almost daily.
Nobody is perfect
The perfect father does not exist, nor does the perfect mother, so I doubt anyone can say that he has never yelled at his children at some point. Pluralizo (his children) because when you only have one child it is easier to control the situation. When they are more than one the thing is complicated, and not only because sometimes they get together to do something even fatter, but because sometimes it is one that hurts the other, it is one that insults or despises the other and at times So…
I apologize
I, at times like this, can lose my temper because I have never liked anything (NOTHING) that one brother loses respect for the other. There is no punishment, there is no educational cheek, but if I lose my nerves I can scream at them to stop immediately, to stop getting hurt, to get hurt.
I can lose my nerve more or less, depending on the moment and the magnitude of what happened, but then, when the waters return to their channel, I bend down, approach and I apologize: “Sorry to scream, next time I will try not to do it, but I couldn't let you keep hurting each other because it doesn't hurt who you love. Talk, tell them, explain what bothered you, but don't stick or insult yourself. When you do you are not respecting yourself. ”
There are words that can do irreparable harm
If you realize I am talking about a shout, of a “enough is enough”, of a “stop once”, in which the most serious is the strength of the voice. Shouting is not recommended, but not only the form can damage, the message is almost more powerful than the force with which you say it. I prefer a thousand times that someone yells at me "it's okay" to someone quietly say "you're useless." The first is aimed at something I'm doing, probably wrong, and The second is aimed at me, my person, my little heart, my self-esteem.
If you start reading the words and phrases (in English) that drown the child in the picture you can find things like "useless", "pig", "you have no brain", "you're worthless", "dumb" and more than I have not been able to understand. In such cases, with words like these, it doesn't matter if they say shouting or not (although they will always be more harmful if they are joined by a shout) because alone they can cause irreparable damage.
A child's self-esteem is formed based on the relationships he has with his loved ones and with people around him. If the people who love you most treat you badly, if they insult and humiliate you and make you feel little or not at all dear to a child's self-esteem, their safety and self-confidence will be, most likely, tremendously damaged.
Respecting children makes children learn that they have to try to respect others. Giving them love and love makes them feel loved, full and predisposes them to be more affectionate and loving. Humiliating them can only help you learn to humiliate others or to end up seeing as normal that anyone humiliates them.
"The dark room"
Before finishing I leave an excerpt from the song "The dark room" from Skunk DF, which says a lot in very few letters:
Thank you dad for your heritage,
You destroyed my innocence
Psychiatrists and painkillers can't get you out of my head.You have created an irreversible trauma,
I am a person inaccessible to the rest of the people,
I am absent.
