I often read and listen to criticisms of today's children and young people and in many things I agree because I am also worried about the radical change that many of them have given, disrespectful that they become some and how impassive many parents and many teachers show themselves before all this.
Many people, convinced that formerly we were better, because at least the teachers were respected, there was a certain discipline and what a father said was going to Mass, he suggests returning to the authoritarian education of yesteryear so that the elders, the adults, return To have authority. However, this is a mistake and that's why we're going to explain today why not return to the authoritative education that our parents gave us.
The confusion between authority and authoritarianism
The two words begin with the same letters, but they are not the same, and not everyone seems clear. When someone suggests that authoritarianism should return, they are asking that the parents re-exert the pressure that ours exerted, the "here is what I order and command", the "slap in time for this not to be let go of me" and the punishment to teach children the consequences of their actions. At the same time, he is asking that the shouts, the infinite copies, the punishments be returned in the classrooms, sending the children to spend the afternoon in the class of the little ones and the "here we speak when I say and do not talk anymore".
No, for God's sake, this can't come back because we cannot pretend to teach children to live with a treatment that we would not like to receivecan't come back because a child cannot learn well if he goes to a place to be treated badly, unmotivated, and can not return because when an adult has to make use of such methods to get the attention of children and to pay attention to it is because has already lost authority. I repeat, to make it clear: when authoritarianism has to be used it is because authority has been lost.
The problem, what has happened, is that in the flight of authoritarianism, in the denial of any pressure on children, in the avoidance of punishment and with the aim of leaving that childhood behind, those moments that we would rather not have lived, many adults have stayed there, in the denial of what was and in the absence of building something better.
It seems that everything is governed by the noos: "we can't punish," "we can't hit them," "we can't give them copies," "we can't shout at our children," "we can't humiliate them," and it's true, a human being, however small and however much you are learning does not deserve any of this. However, it does deserve something, it deserves that construction of education that goes beyond the denial of authoritarianism, it does deserve a positive education, based on respect for others, which also takes into account the denial of permissiveness in which many parents have stagnated, who have given their children so much freedom that they send home.
Children have to recognize the authority of adults
We must not recover authoritarianism, but yes you have to regain authority and respect for people. But respect is not something that can be imposed. As children we were imposed, we respected our parents and adults because if they did not beat us and punish us, or so they believed. That they believed because It was not respect, it was fear, and fear does not create healthy social relationships, ever, because they are completely asymmetric relationships.
Likewise, authority is not required, one has to earn it. This is achieved with the acts, with the way of treating people, with the respect that one professes to others and that which one demands for oneself. Teachers have to regain authority and parents too, respecting children and enforcing themselves.
Children are not stupid. If they see a teacher delivered, who listens to them, who cares about their work, who gives themselves to make their classes a moment worth living, who brings ideas and solutions and who can be close with the students, he ends up being a respected, dear and authoritative teacher.
Likewise, when a father cares for his children, when he attends to them, he listens to them, he speaks to them with respect, he explains what is right and what is wrong, where they have erred and where they can improve, where he erred as a child and how he improved, a father capable of giving and receiving love, his children end up respecting him and recognizing him authority.
No, we must not return to the strange love that our parents gave us or to the strange "education welded shapes dumb "that we receive in schools. What you need to do is educate children with dialogue and respect, having clear what is our position as educators and / or parents, but educate them, that right now, for each other (parents for school) the house is not swept.
