Yesterday we told you in an extensive post why sleeping with children, what is commonly known as colecho, was beneficial both for them and for us, parents. I am sure that many parents, without knowing the benefits, also sleep with their children for a matter of logic: everyone sleeps like this better. I am also sure that, after knowing how recommendable it is, many parents will sleep with their children without the typical reluctance that they say will become more dependent and will never go to their room.
Taking the school for good, then some parents are assaulted by a question: how long? When to pass the child then to the crib or bed? At three months? At six? Year? Never?
Before three months
I know mothers who have put their baby to sleep in a secluded room since the first few days. There are parenting methods that recommend it (although almost no one does), arguing that if you do not know sleeping accompanied, you will never want to sleep with the parents and thus will not give "problems at night." The truth is that It is not recommended that a baby sleep alone, in another room, before three months. The risk of sudden death, the risk of choking after a regurgitation and the overall risk of something happening to you while we sleep is high, so no, it is not before three months.
Also, the argument is wrong. Part of the basis that a baby who wants to sleep with parents does because he has learned and this is not so. Babies are born wanting to be with us, needing to be with us. Some may sleep alone in another room without calling us, but they are such a tiny minority, sure, it makes no sense to make the recommendation for all babies.
Before six months
Or at six, as many professionals recommend because sleeping alone could be linked to starting to eat. I say, because if not, I don't know what the argument is. Some sleep scholars say that at six months all babies can sleep through the night. I invite you to go to my house, and to all the houses where there are six-month-old babies, to realize that that's a lie.
The AEPED says that at 6 months he sleeps, between 0 a.m. and 6 a.m., followed by only 16% of babies. So no, not a good age to pass it from the bed to the crib or to your room. Also, if we had said that colecho is beneficial, why leave it so soon?
Stop collecting at one year of life
After six months, another psychological barrier is twelve months, the year of life. You sleep with your baby until the year and social pressure begins to suffocate. Nobody understands why you do it, they tell you that you are soft, that you are doing something very negative with your baby and that you should pass it already, or it will never leave the room.
At twelve months some babies are already able to sleep quite well at night, although many still wake up. If a child sleeps fairly well, the parents consider that it is time to move it into the room and the child is well aware of that change: go ahead. If instead the child does not consider that he is improving at all by being alone and cries and begins to wake up more, the social pressure is wrong. That is, the negative is not to have it with us, but to change it to another room.
The explanation is very simple: one of the reasons why children sleep better with us is because they feel safer, calmer. If they are alone when they wake up more because they feel insecure, they are still small to leave.
And then, do we never stop sleeping with the baby?
No, it's not that either. Let's apply the logic: when a tip or recommendation is for the majority, it can be considered good. If there is a child who sleeps separately from his parents and has a bad time, but the great part turns out that with twelve months he sleeps great, it will be necessary to see if that child something happens or is that he simply needs more contact and affection than the others. But this is not what usually happens. When we take 12-month-old children to their room, what usually happens is that they cry, wake up more, don't want to be alone, etc. So, when a council only serves a minority, because most of them are doing badly, what is wrong is not what parents do, but the recommendation.
I already told you once that following a method invented by myself, I tried to make my children never leave our bed. I wanted to sleep with them all my life. I failed miserably because the oldest left at age six Y the middle began to leave when he was three.
When to pass the child to bed or crib?
The answer to the question is very simple: when you want everyone. I never say an ideal date, I never talk about such or such months. I only say this, when everyone in a house agrees, including the child. At that time, if you all want, there will be no failure, no cries, no discomfort, no fears, no terrors, no "mom, give me water," or "I'm hungry," or "my belly hurts," or all those phrases. that children think of trying to scratch the lonely dark night for a few seconds or minutes.
As I say, the elder left with six years and never returned, and slept like a king from the first night. The medium, with four, was not coming back, either. It is normal, at that age they are already clear that after night comes the day, that there is no danger and that dad and mom are there next. Being alone in your room, you don't feel alone, because we are there. And they don't feel alone because they have each other (in our case). So what has been said, he sleeps with the baby until you decide that the separation arrives. It is likely that the most reluctant, by then, are parents, because when you have spent some time enjoying the nights together, it is we who enjoy it the most.
Photos | Thinkstock
In Babies and more | Babies should sleep in mom's bed at least until age three, Colechar with two children at the same time, Do not put it in your bed, which gets used, Elena Lordán: My son has decided to stop schooling with six years
